Every once in a long, long, time, I will have a dream with my son, Evan, in it. These dreams are so special, because they are the only time I am “seeing” him. Sometimes he is just a little boy, romping around with his brother. Then, other times, and these are very precious, he is the wonderful 20 year old young man I lost. In these dreams, he is happy, healthy, with a big smile on his face, just the way I want to remember him. But dreams are so fleeting. I woke up this morning, realizing I had one of those dreams last night, and I was so happy and couldn’t wait to tell my husband. But, I must have dozed off, and when I woke back up, the dream was gone. I can’t remember the story, just that I had the dream. I am so disappointed, to have missed this “seeing” opportunity. These dreams give me a sense of peace.
Whatever way there is a loss of a child — disease, accident, senseless shootings — the loss is unbearable. What parents like us wouldn’t do to go back in time and prevent it from happening. Sometimes we can’t prevent it. But, with vaccine-preventable diseases, we have a great “shot” at preventing these tragedies. I would give anything to hug my son in person, and not just in my dreams.